Motherhood
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Surviving the NNICU as a new mom.
This time of year really elicits all the feels from me. Four short years ago we were sitting in the NNICU, waiting so patiently to bring our sweet little girl home. Those 50 days felt like an eternity, but we survived it- somehow. The NNICU really worked me over- emotionally. I felt like I was in the scene of the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy’s house was spinning. I felt lost, isolated, terrified, and really numb. The NNICU can really be a terrifying place for a (first time) parent. The memories that I have of meeting my daughter for the first time are something that I work so hard to…
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A letter to Audrey, on your First Birthday
My sweet, sweet little girl, where did this last year go? It is so hard to believe that you are turning One in a couple weeks. That saying that the years are short but the days are long, could not be more true in this moment. This last year has felt like a blur, if I am being quite honest. I wish I could go back in time and just relive some of those little moments that I felt went by too quickly. I just want more time with you as a little baby. More time to snuggle each other, to stare into your beautiful blue eyes, just plain old…
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Julia turns 4
It feels like a lifetime ago that I sat in a hospital bed wondering if we would ever see a fourth birthday. Looking outside of that snowy hospital room window, I couldn’t even imagine what life could be like without her. Little did I know what would unfold in the early hours of February 6, 2016. After what felt like a lifetime, I was finally able to hold Julia 2 entire days after she was born. Exhausted from the chaotic events leading up to her birth and afterwards, I sat on a hospital recliner propped by pillows, sore from surgery and held my girl for the first time. I sat…
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Welcoming Baby Audrey
On Thursday, March 14, 2019 at 10:39 am we welcomed a beautiful little 6 pound baby girl to our family. Audrey was born at 36 weeks & 4 days by a scheduled c-section. We were over the moon that we made it to this milestone in my pregnancy. I was so thankful that even though this pregnancy was considered high risk, (because of me delivering Julia 11 weeks early) it was fairly uneventful. As every mother wonders about how their relationship will change with their oldest child, I was so nervous of how Julia would accept a sibling. After all, it has been just the two of us during our…
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A letter to Julia, on your second birthday
Two? Already? The last two years have just flown by! I can’t believe that my sweet little Julia is already two! We have done so much growing together as a family of three this year. This year wasn’t as “monitored” as it was with you the first year of your life. We had less doctor visits and developmental assessments and more time to just be normal parents. Julia, you amaze me every single day. Your little laugh is infectious, and your smile is 100 watts. I am so proud to watch you meet and exceed each milestone that is thrown your way. You have gone through so much in your…
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Emerging from Trauma: Stephanie’s NICU Journey
I had my daughter 17 months ago, but it seems like a lifetime. We didn’t have a hard time getting pregnant. It was almost instant. But staying pregnant was a different story for me. I ended up in the hospital at 27 weeks, 4 days with preterm premature rupture of the membranes (pPROM). My water had broken. My job now was to try and stay pregnant until 34 weeks. Sounds easy right? Not so much. After numerous days of magnesium sulfate to stop labor, antibiotics, fluids, and a full round of steroid shots to strengthen the baby’s lungs I was on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Every minute…
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Beating the Odds – A PPROM Story
It sounds so easy to do: just stay pregnant. Every minute and every single hour that I could stay pregnant gave my daughter a better chance of thriving after birth. My life changed forever in January 2016. I was happily pregnant and getting into the routine that every nesting mother-to-be does. My registries were done and the maternity photos scheduled, along with all plans for the pregnancy and birth. We met with pediatricians and chose one; we met with a doula and started planning our birthing experience. My birth plan was “to make it out alive”, and looking back on it I wonder if subconsciously I knew my pregnancy was…
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Welcoming Julia
The few weeks before Julia was born were the most emotionally challenging weeks of our lives, as we saw how the best laid plans can change in the blink of an eye. I woke up around 5:30am on Tuesday morning, January 26th, to discover my water had broken while I slept. Dave and I quickly went to Waterbury hospital after talking to my doctor, where it was confirmed my water had broken but I was not yet in labor. I was immediately transferred by ambulance to Yale New Haven Hospital, where they could take care of a baby born prior to 28 weeks gestation. At the time I was 27…
