November thoughts

What a year. Is it even safe to say that we are close to the finish line of 2020? I am not sure about you, but for me this year felt like we were always idling at 75 mph, just waiting to spin our wheels or get a green light and move forward.

This year has felt heavy for so many reasons, but ultimately I just think for what we feel like we have missed out on. But I am trying to put a spin on some of those depressing thoughts and really turn it around to think of how much this last 8 months has put into perspective. 

Even though Covid has taken so much from our country this year, and people will have an empty chair during this holiday season if they lost a loved one to Covid. Our country is in a weird frame of mind, from a global pandemic to a wildly emotional election. We can use a bit of healing to just be together.

But here is a little what is on my mind. I’ve tried to set some pretty easy goals for my blog, but the time just really got away from me and I am hoping to finish up my Audrey series and then maybe post a holiday guide. MAYBE. This is my little place to escape and sometimes just writing can be cathartic. Writing has always felt so releasing for me- to just get my feelings down without judgement. So I hope you like to read my little space that I am working to create here.

This year my sweet little Audrey turned one. We had a beautiful first birthday dinner planned for her with our closest family & friends, it was the weekend that the lockdowns started in Connecticut. So, we had to ultimately make the decision to postpone her party and then schedule it for sometime in May, thinking that life would be normal again. Well, that was wrong- because it was even crazier. So instead of giving in and not celebrating Audrey, we held a birthday parade. The fire department in our town led the charge that morning and all the lights and sirens to celebrate her. Our family and friends all came and showered her with gifts and showed us just how loved she was. It was really heartwarming, and while it was short it was certainly a happy memory for us to all have. 

Julia, should have started in her second year of preschool this year, but her school closed. About 12 days before school started the entire school community received an email saying that they would not be opening the doors this year. So there we were, again, stuck with a major family decision. The school did their best to try and find placement for all of the students, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. So we decided to keep her home, and find someone to tutor her. We were really lucky to have a great relationship with her former teachers, and one of them jumped in to help us tutor her. It’s really sweet to see her be so excited on the days that she comes into our home. It also makes my heart stop pounding and realize that even though she isn’t in a physical classroom, she has the whole rest of her life to sit behind a desk.  So we adapted.

If 2020 has taught my Type A self anything, it’s that change is always happening. You can’t control anything. 

 I am also pretty thankful that my husband was able to work from home for a period of time during the pandemic. It was nice to have him home to witness some of Audreys first moments walking and to also help with some of the remote schooling for Julia. 

I also feel like a lot people really just had moments of are we going to survive a lock down? Will our marriage survive or are we going to drive each other crazy? Will we ever find toilet paper or baby wipes again? Or can I just order take out and take a night off of the endless dishwashing?

Is this the silver lining though of our year? We have spent more time together as a little unit of four than I ever thought we would, and I am sure that our holiday plans will also just be a small group instead of our large family events. 

Whatever the outcome of this year, I am grateful for my little family. At the end of the day, they are what really matters. I love these little girls with my whole heart, and I am so thankful to be able to spend this time with them.  


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